To Live or Die
by xxZanexx23
Summary: To live or die is a question or situation no one wants to question. However, Peace after the Second Bloody Valentine War is ending. Kira Yamato will have to kill, becoming a killing machine once again. However, is he really protecting others by doing so?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything belonging to Gundam series. This is just my interpretation and story using these characters. **

* * *

**Prologue**

The world was beginning to change. We all saw that, especially Athrun. After the second war had ended, we had all gone our separate ways. Life was about unraveling, I guess.

"Kira," a soft velvet voice whispers in my ear, "Why are you still out here in the rain?"

"…Because the world is still crying."

* * *

The tides of war were coming again. After all that we have done, after all that we have fought for, war was coming again. Except this time, I do not know how many innocent people will have to die. A bell jingles, voicing the memorable songs of the dead. Some of them were the same I heard when their blood bespattered, brought by my own hands. When their songs left, my life did too, especially parts of my heart.

Through a rain-spattered window, I watch the droplets dwindling from the heavens. Whoever came in refuses to leave, her feminine shadow stands behind me. I refuse to turn around, not because I am scared, but because I know what lies ahead of me. I will become a killing machine, once again.

If only people learned to live together, maybe we would stop having these silly wars. Yet, I know, without a doubt, I will have to fight again, even if I do not want to. Arms wrap around my torso, bringing warmth in a cold room. A head lays itself on my shoulder. It curves underneath my own, as I bring it over top of hers.

I look down onto this beautiful face, exactly like my own. She has seen the horror of the world, yet she continues to fight, not for herself, but for others. Closer to her eyes, I see tears, and I was blinded. They made me think of nothing else, except her, and being with her. Sometimes, the world sits still, and nothing else matters.

But whenever we talked, we didn't; we listened to the silence.

* * *

"_You're something that shouldn't have been allowed to exist, boy!"_ I remember every word said on the battlefield, especially Rau Le Creuset's. His words were one of the few, which made me believe; I should not be standing here nor walking. While I am mobile, I feel the eyes of not only the people, but also the world.

Glancing around a nearby corner, I notice someone small observing. Fearfully, a boy watches us as we pass him, the man in front of me that does not give the child a second look, continues into a ZAFT building. I, on the other hand, stop. I bring my hand up, and the boy begins cowering away, only to stop when my hand places itself on his head in an almost fatherly manner. His eyes snap open, and I see the little street urchin's green eyes, revealing his life's story. My lips upturn, a small set smile.

"You should be careful." My words whisper out. "It's dangerous over here."

I see the child nod, and he scampers along somewhere else. But as quickly as it happened, the moment was over, and I walk into the building, hurrying to find the other man. He is waiting for me, patting his foot lightly against the teal flooring.

"Sorry," I apologize, and we continue moving through the halls. While we walk, I notice the man's nametag, "Orga Ryohei." He is taller, bulkier than I am, and definitely older. His face has wrinkles of age and war scares. The man leads us to a door, and he directs me inside. Someone is talking, definitely a familiar voice.

"Athrun, we need to do something now!"

I enter, and I then watch the man close the door behind me. It shuts with a soft click, alarming everyone inside of my arrival.

I glance at the girl with blond hair, "Cagalli," a name slips out my lips. She, along with the other two people inside, faces me. However, the blonde-haired woman rushes towards me, crushing my bones in a tight embrace. After a seemingly reluctance, she backs away, beaming one moment, fuming the next.

"What the hell are we going to do, Kira?"

"We wait." I say, only igniting a further anger within the woman.

"That is **exactly** what Athrun said." She says, hotly blowing steam into the air.

I smile at him, Athrun Zala, formerly known as Alex Dino for a short while. He, who was my best friend, was now sighing. My sister could be a handful.

"Relax, Cagalli." I daringly place my hand on the steaming woman's stomach. "You don't want to disturb _her_."

I feel a small kick, knocking a smile onto my face. My niece was growing everyday while in my sister's stomach. However, there was a time for happiness, and now was not.

"_How did we let this happen? How did __**I**__ let this happen?" _

I shook my head, returning a smile onto my face. Now was not the time for negative thoughts.

"If this war starts again," I begin, looking at my friends, comrades, family, loved ones, "People will **die**. However, we can fight to save those who want to live in peace."

Human beings as we act are flawed, imperfect and resort to fear and violence. However, all of them want to be happy, but others will be miserable.

"It is our duty to protect them." I glance at each one of them. "Together?"

"Together," they all agree. This time we were not fighting divided, we were fighting as one. However, I had a bad feeling: this war… I was going to die.

* * *

A/N: This was just a quick prologue of trying to get into the head of Kira and lay the foundation of his thoughts, voice.


	2. New Allies, Former Enemies

Time is moving slower, or at least, it seemed to be on this clock. High above, near the hanger's door, it sat staring back at me.

I crane this way, then that, examining each mobile suit. Majority of them were the latest ZAKU Warriors, upgraded for aerial combat. They were weapons of defense, weapons of mass destruction, and **perfect** weapons used to kill, nothing else. However, like most new mobile suits, one of them always has malfunctions. In addition, it always has somebody needing to fix it.

A pilot kicks the thing, curses at it, and then finally the ZAKU snarls in reply. The metal beast coughs, and great blasts of smoke come from its cockpit.

"Is this… yours?" I ask.

Whomever it was trying to fix the machinery turns around. "Uh, Y-Yamato, I mean Admiral Yamato," he says, staring at me, and I do the same. A slight tension or awkwardness disperses in the air. It diffuses between us - allies who were once enemies.

I cough, "Is this yours, Commander?"

"No," he says, his patent permanent half frown showing, "One of the rookies."

"You mind if I take a look then?"

Receiving a nod, I walk pass the Pilot, Yzak Joule, a ZAFT Commander. I put my hand over my face, shielding myself from the smoke. Inside the cockpit, display lights provide enough illumination for working. Sitting down, my fingers begin the procedure of going through the setup. I hear nothing except, perhaps the clicking of the fan overhead. The smoke was out, and I finally can see clearly. In seconds, my mind processes information as more displays. Faster each time, I sit with an easiness, which causes my mind to wander. Sometimes, I would like to pretend a war was not coming. Except, being in this cockpit, reminded me of previous experiences - the fight against Athrun and the explosion, then fighting to survive, and Yzak's scar, all far-gone events turning into thoughts plaguing my life forever.

"You broke another one?" I hear someone's voice say, most likely outside this mobile suit. It was not the Commander; it was too feminine, yet surprisingly audacious.

"Woman, I didn't break anything," Yzak retorts, "You, on the other hand, probably have broken several of these. Incompetence at its best, which isn't surprising for someone like you-"

"Someone like me!" she immediately exclaims, "You weren't complaining about "someone like me" last night? Oh wait, you were complaining, or should I say being _very_ vocal. Or did you forget about that, _Yzak_?"

"Are you serious, Shiho? I was doing no such thing!"

"Dead serious…Keep telling yourself that."

From inside the cockpit, I walk out, strangely unnoticeable to the arguing duo, reminding me much so of Cagalli and Athrun. The two locked in a glaring battle, which from my eyes; seem like waiting for who was going to apologize first.

"Okay," Shiho huffs, "You're sleeping on the couch." And she leaves, walking away from the fuming Yzak.

"Um," I cough, "Is there another problem?"

* * *

The second day after arriving in the ZAFT carrier ship, my squad and I came upon the designated area where the assault would begin, otherwise where the war will start. Instead of being in the ship's cockpit, I decided to roam the lounge.

"Heck, they may not even show." One of the younger, inexperienced Pilots said. Flanking his sides were other soldiers who looked about the same age. There regalia easily distinguished them as Rookies. I hope that none of them will have to die, or have to bury one of their friends like I did.

"It doesn't matter." A black-haired Pilot says, standing up from a table flanked with a pink haired woman. "We got the Greatest Coordinator on our side."

"You guys are talking about me, right?" Another pilot says, coming out of a corner. He walks towards me, smiling while his blond hair flutters in a wild, somehow neat manner.

Behind them, I could hear the younger members gasping and whispering to themselves.

"Look, it's Kira Yamato and it's..."

"Shinn," I greet him, "It's nice to see you again, and you two, Dearka and Lunamaria."

Shinn gave a nod, Luna gave a smile, and Dearka, being Dearka, grabs me in a tight embrace before letting go. Then, he moves towards Shinn and puts him in a headlock.

"Hey! Let me go!"

"We've been waiting for you," he says, with Shinn struggling within his grip. "We were beginning to think your new title was getting to your head."

"I'm hurt. I thought you knew me better than that." I say, smiling.

"I do. I do." He hastily declares, releasing Shinn. "This guy here… doesn't."

"Shinn, you want to explain yourself?"

"Uh, he was thinking of someone else," Luna cuts in. "You know how Shinn is, says things first before thinking."

_"Why are they here anyways?"_ I raise an eyebrow. Shinn was still the same, I guess. Then again, things did change. "How did Cagalli _even_ manage to get Shinn to leave Orb?"

"Oh, she had to threaten banning his Mobile Suit license," Luna says, and Shinn huffs in response, the name, _"Luna…"_ coming under his breath.

"Well, she does have her Red Knight with her either ways," I say absentmindedly, then look at the confuse faces, apologetically. "Sorry, inside joke."

"So," Dearka states, "Another war, huh, seems like it has only been days since the last one."

"Yeah," I say, leaning onto a nearby wall, "Technology changes, People don't."

"That isn't the case all of the time," Shinn argues. He is staring at me, yet looks to be staring far-off into space, or into the past. "People **do** change."

"Your right," I smile. _"You've really grown up, Shinn." _I crane my head to the left, then to the right. "But, we have to be careful. There is not much information about these guys, except that recording."

"Kira, isn't it weird that one of them would leak it?"

"No, Luna," I say to the pink-haired woman, "This organization preys on fear, paranoia, and once you get to deep, there is no way out. It makes perfect sense that someone would want out, but…"

"There is a price for freedom." Shinn continues.

"Yeah," I nod, continuing my own statement. "Like Shinn said, there is a price to freedom, either death or a set up to kill someone else. Knowing our luck, this leak is probably the latter."

* * *

**A/N: I actually did not like this chapter very much. I am sure if it was because of writer's block, but I felt this was not enough action. However, the story and action should thicken the next few chapters. This chapter was mainly introducing some of the other characters back, I guess.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything that belongs to the Gundam series. I only own my story idea.**


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